Things Our Mothers Taught Us

I saw this recently and thought it was funny and now that I am a mother, I have found myself saying some of these things to my own children. My mom would never have said any of these things as she was from Thailand and didn't know a lot of English and funny sayings. The closest she got was if I came to her saying that So-and-So was doing it, why couldn't I? And then she'd say to me, "Well if So-and-So jumps off a bridge, are you going to jump too?" or "If So-and-So jumps into the fire, are you going to jump in too?" and of course my answer was always YES! and then she'd chase me around the house with a wooden rice paddle trying to smack me for mouthing off.

Enjoy these!
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1) My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2) My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that comes out of the carpet."

3) My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4) My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."

5) My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6) My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

7) My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about!"

8) My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut up and eat your supper!"

9) My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10) My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11) My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks like a tornado went through it."

12) My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait till we get home."

13) My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

14) My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to stick that way."

15) My mother taught me about ESP. "Put your sweater on. Don't you think I know when you're cold?"

16) My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes don't come running to me."

17) My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables you'll never grow up."

18) My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father!"

19) My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

20) My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

21) My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you!"