Life gets in the way of life

Does that make sense? I posted on FB last night that I don't know why life has to be so complicated. I don't make it anything other than what it is and yet it's so messed up. I don't go about my days trying to make my life complicated, as someone suggested. Seriously? Basically this person's response was that your life is only as complicated as you make it. Listen buddy, I am NOT making my life this way. It's just how it's playing out. Two plus years of incredible stress, seeing the light at the end of the dark tunnel and thinking everything's actually going to be okay then having setbacks and barely being able to see the light is not something we set out to accomplish in our life's journey. I never sat down with my husband and said, "I've got a brilliant idea. Let's fuck everything up so badly that we suffer for two or three years. Doesn't that sound like fun?" Yeah, that's what we did.

I don't like to go into much detail about my personal life and struggles. Most people who "know" me only see what they want to see so they make judgements based on things they see. Yes I live in a large house, yes I drive a nice car, yes my husband has a sports car, yes yes yes. But those are things that you only see, you don't know the background, the facts, the truth.

(I will, however, share with you my emotional struggle dealing with my kids and depression. I'm not ashamed, there is no stigma attached to that for me. It's not something I've made up, not something that's just in my head.)

Anyway... Yes I have problems. But before you judge me and say that my life is complicated because I am making it so, I think you should take at look at yourself first. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. We've been working so hard to correct the mistakes we've made at the risk of losing things along the way. Other people would just walk away from the issues. We are honest, hard-working, loyal people and are facing our problems head-on. I would so love to say that my life is nothing but sunshine, rainbows and unicorns. That I'm so happy all the time roses are coming out of my ass. (that wouldn't be very comfortable though) I'd love to have a much more upbeat and positive outlook and be able to share that everyone. But I've been stressed and struggling for over two years now that I'm just about ready to give up.

And now I have to go do some laundry.