So heartbroken

I've been on my little vacation in Texas for a few days now and I'm gearing up to go home tomorrow afternoon. This evening Taylor called me, sobbing, and told me she had something terrible to tell me and I immediately thought one of the dogs had gotten hurt or died but she told me that our beloved Bearded Dragon, Oscar, had died and she didn't know how or why and that she was going to miss him so much, she didn't want another lizard because he was the best lizard in the whole world and that she loved him so much. It hurt me so much to hear how devastated she was that I burst out crying too. I'm crying right now as I write this because I loved him too. Funny how attached we became to a lizard but he was awesome and handsome and sweet. And now there is a hole in our family. Totally sucks that this happened while I was away but thankfully Dad was there, because he's good with this kind of thing. I know, though, that as soon as they all see me at the airport tomorrow they're all going to start crying. They'll all probably need to cuddle with me at home too and cry some more. If we get this heartbroken over a lizard, I hate to think of how we will be if anything happens to one of the dogs. Ugh. Phil said they will bury him in the yard by the big pine tree. Wish I could be there with them.

It's been good for me to be away from them. It's been nice not dealing with whining and fighting and yelling at them to clean their rooms. But I've missed them terribly. We've been video chatting, so I think that has been helpful for them to at least see me and talk to me. This is the longest I've been away from them and the longest Phil has had to take care of them. And I think he's done a great job. He's not a good Mom but he's an awesome Dad and I'll be forever grateful to him for letting me come down here.

It's not like I did any soul searching while I've been away but it's done my heart some good. I knew I would miss them but not the minute they drove away from me at the airport. I've talked about them incessantly too. I've bought things for them (well, not Emma because I totally forgot but I'll grab a stuffed animal at the airport!) and texted them everyday. I'm so fortunate to have such spirited and wonderful children, as difficult as they can be sometimes.

I don't have anything witty or funny to say today. My heart is heavy with the loss of Oscar.

(Although I am thinking of stealing the huge framed picture of a goat that is hanging on the wall in my room at Sarah's house.)