since I last wrote in this blog. The only reason it even crossed my mind is because my friend, Christina, sent me a message via Google+ saying we should start using it again and it triggered a memory that hey, I have a blog floating around out on the Inter-Web. Dammit…!!
What has happened in the last 2 years…..
Sold the house, moved out. Moved into an apartment for a year. Moved out of the apartment and into a townhouse. Still in townhouse. In the process of building a house in Dexter, but not where we originally planned. This is in a neighborhood across of Jenny's Farm Market. It's a modest neighborhood full of families and normal people. This is where we should have been from the very start but I won't go into that because it's just not relevant anymore.
Lots has happened, really. I just can't be bothered to recall all of it and write it here. I wrote a great "note" on Facebook the other day about my girls that I think I will copy & paste here. I still don't know why I continue with this blog since I don't believe it's public and I've not shared it with anyone.
Funny, I just read through all of the previous posts and I can see some of my witty banter from my younger years shining through. I think if I were given a daily topic to write about I could be spurred to action… Coming up with things to write about has been daunting. It would be nice to try again. I just wish my brain would cooperate with me. Ha…there was a week a month or two ago when the strangest thing happened. I woke up one morning and my brain would not stopping thinking. Seriously. I could not get a moments peace from random thoughts streaking across my brain. It was constant. It was 24/7 for days and days. My brain thought it would be loads of fun to recall things that happened to me in high school and problems with my boyfriend. It dwelled on his infidelities and self-esteem issues I developed from his harping on me about my weight and how he would break up with me if I got fat. It's no wonder I'm fat now!!! Then once it was done with the high school years it moved to college and while it didn't focus on any problems it brought things to light that I wish it hadn't. This went on for almost a week. My head was throbbing. It was all I could do to get to sleep at night. As soon as my head hit the pillow, my brain would say to me, "Pssst….remember that time that….." and I would be awake for hours. I think I started reading again as a way to escape my brain. I have been reading for an hour or two each night since. Much better than incessant brain chatter.
My good friend is going to divorce her husband. This will be the second of my good friends to go through a divorce in a couple of years. There have only been a handful of times that I've thought maybe divorce would be my best option. Thinking back to when I chose to marry Phil, I told myself that divorce wouldn't be an option. My parents divorced when I was 10 and it totally sucked ass. I never wanted to put my kids through that. We have had some rough times and bumps in our marriage but we've been able to weather them and come out better for it. Right now we aren't going through a rough time between each other. Our lives are still pretty stressed out and things aren't where we would like them to be but we are moving forward and there is definitely a light at the end that we can both see and almost reach. Unfortunately when he gets stressed he doesn't pay much attention to me emotionally or physically. He ends up dumping all the stress and issues on me because really, I am the only one he has to talk to about these things. Men don't tend to have the close friendships that women have, they don't have a confidante to tell their secrets to like we do. I would go CRAZY without my girlfriends. There are only a few that I trust enough to let know what's really been happening with me. Everyone else sees the "brave face" that I wear everyday. Sure they see stress and my gray hairs but they don't KNOW what's going on and I have made those select few friends swear to keep their mouths shut ;-)
Oh and I'm madly in love with Benedict Cumberbatch. I've said that I'm done having babies but I would have his in a heartbeat. I won't go into the reasons why I love him. Just know that I do.
Okay, that's enough mindless rambling for one night. I need to start some laundry and get to sleep.
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